That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
