My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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