I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize