I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
