Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
