i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My first STD was from a foam party
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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