He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
