Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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