She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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