he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Come share oat with me in your robe
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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