Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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