i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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