Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
