My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Four minutes until I can fart!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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