I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
