i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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