And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize