**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
What a dumb baby whore.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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