Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
