There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
