So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
