it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
