saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
