i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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