We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
