so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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