dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She announced her abortion via fbk
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
