? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
