it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
love makes seman taste better
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
