i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
