help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
