I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
