he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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