We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize