I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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