We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
