I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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