I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize