After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
