But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
no you cant smoke seaweed
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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