Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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