You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize