We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
