he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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