i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
