you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
