i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i need to put some appletini on your dick
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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