I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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