I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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