You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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