she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize