He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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