dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
