Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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