Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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