Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
