We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
