I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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