the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
