so that wasnt chicken after all
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
