never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
