we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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