Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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