how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
