I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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