Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
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