Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
