Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
