I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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