Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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