i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
