ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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