You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
organizing the empties. That sober.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
