just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
A+ Viking dick
I need water and some morals
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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