More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
don't judge my taste in strippers
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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